What is life? How long will we all be here?
We know no one lives forever but those moments we lose the ones we love can leave us in a state of grief. I’ve experienced loss in my lifetime but losing my own child is by far the strongest pain I’ve been through. They say death is the date on the calendar..but grief is the calendar.
I’ve learned through this journey that everyone is different and deals with their grief in their own way. In our family we choose to keep our daughter Ella’s memory alive. We continue to talk about her in our conversations. We share her journey along with our friends and family around the world #ellasjourney. When we see Ella pop up on social media in Italy, Mexico, China etc it leaves us with such a special feeling.
To those dad’s that have lost a child, continue to shine your child’s light in a way you feel comfortable. You’ll see the “Winks from Heaven” will start to come to you. My family has experienced winks since we lost Ella. It may be a dream, their favorite song coming on the radio at just the right moment and so much more.
Ella transitioned just shy of her second birthday. Today, Ella is turning 8 and we continue to celebrate her birthday. We always try to do something we think she’d enjoy followed by a birthday cake and a delicious meal.
This is a letter to my daughter Ella for her Birthday.
Let Me Start by singing Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Ella, Happy Birthday to Youuuuuuu! Are you 1, are you 2, are you 3, are you 4, are you 5, are you 6, are you 7, are you EIGHTTTTT!
We love you and miss you to much Ella!
To my Angel Ella,
First and for most I pray you’re having a time of your Soul with Family & Friends that are with you in Heaven. Wow, baby you’re 8 years old today 1-19-19. We still can’t believe you’re not here with us in the physical world but I know you’re always in our hearts forever and watching over us. Thank you baby for all of your “winks” you continue to send us. It helps us out a whole lot around here, keep it coming:).
As you can see Daddy & Mommy are holding it together for your brother, but it’s hard baby we miss you every day that passes, especially on your Birthday. You were such a blessing to us, just know this Ella, we love you so much and you will be remembered forever. I remember this day like it was yesterday, We were about to cuddle up and watch a movie. You grabbed your quilt and was ready. Hey, is that mommy’s foot behind you? Lol, haha Yes it is..
Oh how I remember this moment like it was yesterday. You and your brother had so much fun playing with dirt and making mud. The fun part was cleaning both of you up. I remember y’all both jumped in the bath tub together lol. I was just a little worried you and your brother would try tasting the mud but you guys didn’t, lol Thank god.
You remember this Ella?
This was back in Detriot at your cousin Lily’s birthday and Easter. Your smile always made the room light up. Your smile was like no other , it was a feeling changer. If someone was feeling sad or down all they had to do was look at your smile and bang they’d feel a bit better. I sure did every time I was feeling down. All I needed was to hold you in my arms and make you smile, that was the formula. We didn’t know it back then we were blessed with an Angel but we did know we had someone special in you.
Ella in the the time we had you, mommy must of took at least 5000 pictures of you and your brother and in most of them you were always showing your smile. There were just a handfull of pictures where you looked worried. In this photo you looked like you wanted to tell us something but couldn’t. You weren’t feeling good. They say a picture says a 1000 words. Looking now at this picture makes me think that you knew, Did You? I’ll be waiting for your answer via my dream or a wink.
Ella you know Milz misses you a whole lot right? He’s always talking about how things would be now with you here. Yeah that boy thinks he’s all grown up now that he’s 11 years old, haha. I know for sure if you were here he wouldn’t be so hooked on “Fortnite” like he is. Can you help? But don’t scare him ok? Sprinkle some of your magic on him and make him read a bit more. He does read but needs to read more than playing Fortnite. Remember don’t scare him, maybe you can show up in one of his dreams:).
Oh wow baby you remember this day? You wanted to be a big girl and follow your brother and his friends around on this scooter. You were the only girl in the “crew” and always wanted to play with them. I must say Ella you were a brave girl you weren’t scared of anything. You were a dare devil with everything and you were also strong for a baby. Mommy and I called you bam bam cause you use to break everything around the house lol. You really were daddy’s little girl haha. Thank You Ella this is therapy for daddy’s soul. You have a beautiful birthday now with the family and friends you’re with. We love you and miss you too much Ella. Oh by the way Ella guess who’s birthday was the other day ? Aaliyah’s, yes daddy met her before when she was part of the “Roc” family. I was thinking and praying if she would sing Happy Birthday to you. She was also a beautiful soul.
Remember, keep those “Winks” coming, that’s what keeps us going baby.
We love you Ella, Happy Birthday!